Apropos of nothing – EOTW quiz

Kathy & wombat Jan 08

I have posted a picture of my friend with a wombat for no particular reason, other than it is an example of how wombats can be very good friends. I have nothing interesting to say; I am slightly lost, slightly bored and slightly drunk. So here are some spill-it-all questions for you:

1. Cutlery drawer. I have asked this before, but it was a long time ago. How do you do yours? Knives, forks, spoons/ forks, knives, spoons? Spoons, knives, forks? You get the idea. And does it annoy you when someone buggers it up?

2. You have just eaten a nice piece of banana cake off what you now realize to be the cat’s dish. You have also spilled instant coffee on the work top in the kitchen. Do you:

(a) throw up; clean up the coffee and apologize to the cat?
(b) apply the 5 second rule, stop worrying and leave the coffee for the morning?
(c) take your mind off both by posting a spurious quiz on t’Spill?

3. You have given up work to look after your child / parent / wombat / aunty Flo. Do you embrace the opportunity or lament the demise of life as you know it?

4. What is the worst thing about getting out of bed in the morning?

5. What is the best thing about getting out of bed the morning?

Light-hearted answers requested and here is some music to jolly you along:

Apologies if I have pipped anyone to the EOTWQ, it’s not even the EOTW yet.

104 thoughts on “Apropos of nothing – EOTW quiz

  1. 1. Cutlery drawer = left to right – orange monsters – dinosaurs – mammoths .. hide the knives the monsters get nervy.

    2. d – explain to the cat sharing is good – lap up the coffee with the cat – hope neither of you find the knives and get nervy.

    3. My children / parents / wombat / aunty Flo, Bod, PC Copper, Frank the Postman and Farmer Barleymow … all think that Alberto Frog will choose the chocolate milkshake – thus emphasising wu-wei (action through non-action), naturalness, simplicity, spontaneity, and the Three Treasures: compassion, moderation, and humility… these will prevail – so embrace and wait for the apple to return.

    4. cat having thrown up the coffee and refusing to apologise – again.

    5. Spurious ‘spill quizes.

  2. Yay, Ali! I was going to maybe put up for fun a toss one playlist but never got there. This is much better, to have a Tuesday EOTWQ over holiday break. Back with answers after i finish some work up…

    • Yeah, i’ve been saying for a few weeks that the series was going on hiatus for the holidays, as folks are busy, and playlists may not get the hearing that they deserve. Everyone else seemed to agree that was a good idea, and will start it up after New Year’s. If anyone wants to throw up a quick and cheap 11 (like i was going to), please feel free. Maybe i can scrape one of my own up today as well.

  3. 1. Knives, forks, spoons, tea spoons
    2. Throw up, not because it’s the cat’s dish but because I am allergic to bananas
    3.Embrace it
    4. It’s cold!!!
    5. that first 1/2 pint of Assam tea.

  4. 1. BUT WHERE DO THE SPORKS GO?? But seriously; knives, forks, spoons. It’s a mantra when putting away.


    d. Call in the dog to lick everything clean, so there’s no need to put the dishwasher on even.

    3. Having ostensibly given up the conventional idea of work lately; I can thoroughly recommend it. A life of idling & merriment is to be had by all, if you want it, that is. To free yourself from “wage addiction” can be hard, especially in today’s consumer society, but the less you want, the freer you can be.

    4. What is the worst thing about getting out of bed in the morning?

    The cuddle finishes.

    5. What is the best thing about getting out of bed the morning?

    To see the amazing children and to hear what they have to say (this morning the small one greeted me with the phrase “what are you talking about?” as I popped my head into his cot. He then demanded chocolate and to cuddle the dog.)

    Thanks Ali, I do love an EOTWQ.

  5. 1 Knives, Forks, then Spoons, with assorted small kitchen gadgets (bottle opener, corn cob holders, etc.) on the far right. For some reason Mrs. SHA swapped the positions of the spoons and forks and I’ve only now figured out the new arrangement.
    2 I fed a cat I was babysitting off one of the plates and Mrs. SHA threw out the plate when she found out and said I’d be next to be thrown out. I’ve kept the cat bowls far away from the food bowls ever since.
    3 Probably a financial disaster because I can’t afford to take unpaid time off work.
    4 The stray cat (neutered male orange-over-white tailless) who has taken up residence on my patio and hits me up for food. He’s loud. He’s never read the “No Pets” sign. And he has my work schedule figured out.
    5 A hot cuppa tea. SHA recommends Paris black tea by Harney & Sons. Makes the whole room smell good like an air freshener…But you can drink it!

    Some nice happy music? Why not.
    Young Fresh Fellows – Celebration (1988)
    I never cared to know the way
    That I could spend my final day
    But if it’s true what the psychics say
    It’s gonna be a celebration
    No more depression, no more work
    No TV reports of a crumbling earth
    A wooden box and a hole in the dirt
    It’s gonna be a celebration

  6. 1. The kids are now old enough to empty the dishwasher, but as preteens are still too young to have any respect for order in the cutlery drawer . I reach my hand in, and it’s a crap shoot what I get – a knife, a fork, a veggie peeler, scissors…

    2. Just a hunch that your answer is (c). I don’t like instant coffee, so that part doesn’t apply to me. And, let me get this straight, you cut a piece of banana cake and put it on a separate plate to eat it? How posh!

    3. Embrace vs lament is one of those guns-and-butter, shag-marry-or-throw-off-a-cliff dilemnas. Mental health experts promote embrace, but lament gives you something to drink about.

    4. The worst thing about getting out of bed in the morning is realizing how many hours it will be before you can get back into it.

    5. The best thing about getting out of bed the morning is you can get the kids off to school and be back in it in a couple of hours.

  7. 1 My cutlery drawer has the smaller spoons at the front at right-angles to the rest, and then from the right: knives, forks, big spoons and finally odds and ends like scissors, tea strainer, small funnel. I keep my wooden spoons and other larger implements in a jar on the worktop.

    I think I’ve told you before (probably when Ali asked it before) about the rows my husband and I used to have about spoons, which represented the bigger chasm that was opening up between us. I might say: “If it doesn’t matter to you one way or the other, why can’t you do it the way I like it, because it does matter to me?” But he couldn’t see it.

    2 The cats have their own distinct plates, but it has sometimes happened that I think little cat has been up on the worktop licking stuff off a plate (but don’t know for definite) and I use that plate again. I always wipe up spills straight away though.

    3 I wouldn’t have been able to do this because there’s only one of me and I need to support myself. But I imagine it would depend on how much you liked the job and how much it meant to you, compared with how much you liked/felt dutiful towards whoever you were looking after. I would not have given up work to look after my father, because I. found him very difficult to get along with and because I needed the money. Dear Ali, I know that this is your case and I hope it’s OK for you.

    4 The worst thing about getting out of bed is the thought that, rats, now I have to do stuff. Also (at the moment) it’s cold.

    5 The best thing about getting out of bed is coffee.

    Y’all know who makes me happy, and here he is with Mudcrutch

    We ain’t got no money
    But we don’t care at all
    You don’t need much on Depot Street
    Behind the City Hall

    • Ahhh. We could never agree on forks and knives (him) or knives and forks (me). So petty. But sadly not Tom. My brother is really fussy about his cutlery so I never put anything away in his house (that’s my excuse).

  8. 1. From left to right: special compartment for skewers, tin opener, garlic press and paring knife; forks; knives; spoons; small compartment at front for teaspoons and bottle openers; area at front for scissors; area at back for miscellaneous lesser-used utensils like lemon juicer, wooden skewers, ice cream scoop; sugar thermometer along the side.

    I don’t think I need to specify whether or not it would bother me when this perfectly clear arrangement gets subverted…

    2. You don’t specify whether the cat dish has been used or not; I have no objection (though the cats might) to eating off their dish if it’s been washed, and can’t honestly imagine how I’d accidentally eat off it if it’s dirty as it’s bright red and an entirely inconvenient shape for cake. And we don’t have any instant coffee in the house.

    3. Umm. The writing aspect of my job I could probably continue during breaks between childcare, tending to elderly relative etc., but I’d miss the teaching, I think. On the other hand, I could spend more time baking, brewing, making sausages etc., and lecture the cats instead. I think I would make the best of whatever came along.

    4. Feeling of suppressed aggravation that it’s always me getting up to make the bloody tea.

    5. Tea.

    • Heavens, now I’m remembering way back when – the kids were small and we lived in a cottage in wildest Shropshire which was heated by two coal fires, both downstairs. The fires would never stay in overnight and I was much better at lighting them – so I was always the one who got up in the shivering cold mornings to light the fires and put the kettle on. Now I have central heating and a winter fuel allowance!

    • You make sausages? Now I’m really impressed. I thought banana cake was good but sausages are a different league. And it wasn’t a cat dish, per se,just one that I think the cat may have investigated earlier. Eeugh.

      • Sausages, ham, bacon, smoked salmon and trout, rillettes de canard – quite the little cottage industry. Very handy for small presents for people.

  9. 1) There is only Mrs.blue and I at home for 99.9% of the time yet our collection of cutlery would do a small hotel proud. The main drawer has top and bottom moulded plastic compartments, the top can be slid backwards when you open the drawer. In this one is our main, everyday set of knives and forks etc. The small crossways moulding holds the tea spoons. And then from right to left looking down, it’s knives, forks and spoons. The lower compartment is similar (with another full set) except that the small front moulding holds little butter knives. The second drawer down holds the “cooking tools”. Large spoons, whisks, wooden stiring spoons etc. The third draw contains our ‘best’ set of cutlery. These come out for visitors or special meals. They lie in the drawer, in order, on a bed of a clean folded kitchen towel and covered with kitchen paper.
    We also have a free standing IKEA drawer set the top drawer of which has a huge wooden tray that is for all sorts of sharpe knives, corkscrews, pizza cutters and scissors. Whhhhhhhhhyyyyyy.
    God, that was almost theraputic…………………….
    2) Our cats have their own distinctive plastic dishes so a mistake like that could never take place. However should it ever happen it wouldn’t bother me at all. Coffee stains normally induce stage 3 panic with Mrs.blue, but I could quite easilly leave them until I’ve finished what I’m doing.
    3) I gave up work 3 days after my 60th. birthday. Don’t miss a thing about work and try to enjoy as much as I can in life.
    4) But I was having such a strange and wonderful dream……..Can’t I stay a while and see if it comes back. (they never do tho, do they).
    5) As in answer 3. Look forward to enjoying as much as I can of life.

    • I think cutlery drawers offer an insight into the psyche of their owners. Yours sounds like my brother’s – my other brother – whose wife is an amazing cook and has a kitchen full of things I don’t even know the name of. And several cutlery drawers. BTW, do you know “The Waking Edge” by Jethro Tull? Captures that feeling of disappointment went a wonderful dream is interrupted and you can’t get it back.

  10. 1) Cutlery drawer? Surely you jest. A quick inventory shows 1 paring knife, 2 dinner knives, 1 fork, 1 spoon, and 1 plastic knife. No need for a drawer, they’re usually in the sink due to a heavy rotation schedule.

    2) Sadly don’t have a cat at present, or do instant coffee. But cats usually eat off of my plate, not vice versa. They tend to have pretty bad manners too, as i a) find them on the street and take them home (oh no! Stray Cat Blues) and b) spoil them anyway.
    I spilled my real coffee grounds on the kitchen floor the other day, and just as the guy was coming in to fix my broken faucet. So it stayed on the floor until he left, then i scooped up all but the bottom coffee in the pile, and made a pot.

    3) Well, i did take care of my dad for the last year or 2 of his life. I work crap jobs, not real ones, so i still kept a few shifts, that was no loss. I loved my dad dearly and was grateful i had a chance to give a tiny bit back. I did lament not being able to get back to NYC though, so i did go back, he died a few months later.
    Am worried about my mom, she’s not doing so well lately. Not sure that care will be down to me though, brother and sister may do major duties this time around.

    4) Worse thing about getting up in the morning? I’m with Mnemonic here, it’s cold now! But in a nutshell – the answer would have to be reality.

    5) Best thing? Art, nature, love and beauty.

    • You sound very practical and resourceful. I am sorry to hear about your mom, many of my friends are in the same situation – it’s that time of life, I suppose. Yep, reality sucks but you’re spot on with question 5 (just add green tea).

  11. 1. Standard cutlery tray for knives, forks and spoons everything else in chaotic heap BUT it is an organised chaotic heap and I know where everything belongs. Woe betide the person who messes with it.

    2. Not likely to happy as dog’s bowls are metal and rather distinctive. My Mum, however, did eat her Christmas dinner using the dog’s fork ( she ( the dog not mum) is not that well trained, I mean the fork we use for digging the meat out of the can).

    3. Having done it ( and continue , sort of , to do so) I’d say a bit of both. The worst aspects are the social isolation ( RR helps !) and lack of money. In my case it was kid and the rewards were super intelligent daughter with impressive vocabulary ( including sweary words, alas !) who is, pretty much, a younger me in a dress….hmmmm…maybe not such a great thing after all !

    4. I’ve never been a stay in bed sort of person anyway. Getting up is just what I do when my eyes open. These days it’s mostly to have a pee. Which is nice.

    5.See above. “Bed” is just a place like any other to me.

  12. 1. Vertical tray. Forks – knives – spoons (though there is considerable spillover). Horizontal tray: Children’s Moonin forks, knives and spoons all jumbled up. To the side of the tray: cutlery chaos. Big knives are stored away waiting for a telekinetic kid to use them just like Carrie.

    2. Mother-in-law can’t find a bowl for the kid’s porridge. Looks down at the dog’s bowl. Picks it up, washes it and sets it down. She says, “Don’t look at me like that city boy. We didn’t have a toilet or shower in the house ’til 1986”.

    I have to admit that they are fine, healthy people though I do disagree with the idea that “A bit of shit never hurt anyone!”. I’m happier when they say, “Kids today don’t get enough dirt under their fingernails”.

    3. Embrace it, just don’t expect that old job back.

    4. When it’s to change sheets on the kids’ bed cos they’ve been vomiting. “i told your mother it was a fucking bad idea to use the dog’s bowl for the porridge!”

    5. Currently, it’s knowing that the kids won’t be any trouble to wake up as they have advent calenders. (Self-made, we broke up a lego set and each day they add to the model, they’ve worked out what the set is though.)

    Otherwise, it’s when someone else has made the coffee with cinnamon, vanilla and cardamom and I can smell it. Time for a coffee break.

    • Thank you, that made me laugh even though I have just changed the settee cover to get rid of kid’s vomit – no animals involved though, he (the cat) moved just in time.

  13. 1. Knives, forks, spoons, but starting from the right as I’m right handed, so maybe it’s actually spoons, forks, knives….arrghh…. And, yes, I hate it when it’s in a mess – life’s too short to waste looking for things that are not where they should have been in the first place. The same goes for the drawer for cooking utensils (spatulas, fish slice et),,the drawer for little kitchen gadgets (peeler, can openers et al) the drawer for baking things (measuring spoons, pastry brush and the like). Am beginning to think I’m a little retentive…..

    2. (b) apply the 5 second rule, stop worrying and leave the coffee for the morning. Ha! But not so retentive that I can’t tolerate a bit of grot on the kitchen floor.

    3. It’s my grandchild that I’ve given up work to look after and I’m definitely embracing the opportunity. Dancing, singing, reading stories and playing games was generally frowned upon in the office, though this didn’t necessarily always stop me.

    4. On the days I look after my grandchild, the worst thing about getting out of bed in the morning is that it’s only 6 am….yawns and gropes around to turn off that blasted rooster alarm (the only sound that will actually wake me at that time of day). For the rest of the week, I can’t think of a downside to getting out of bed – I’m still getting used to the novelty of being able to choose what I want to do with the day.

    5. the best thing about getting out of bed in the morning is having a cup of tea whilst I decide what to do with the day ahead.

      • Looking down at it, left to right, but that is preordained by the left hand having slots for the knife blades to go into. (It’s only IKEA plastic but they must be anal retentives, too.)

      • There’s usually a dropdown when you start, inviting you to choose between wordpress, blogger, and whatnot. Try signing out and signing in again. But anyway, if you want to post on the ‘Spill instead of just commenting, Blimpy is your man and you can contact him by clicking Contact at the top of the page. He probably knows about usernames too.

  14. 1. What? There are actual drawers for cutlery. Here, they’re usually to be found under couch, chair, bed, especially spoons. For some reason they always go missing. Current spoon count – 3, but that could have all changed overnight.
    2. a) Jedi mind trick and wipe it from memory. I’m good at doing that. I’ve had a lot of practice erasing bad stuff that I don’t like to remember.
    b) Get the hoover hose onnit innit! Has to be straight away coz it goes all sticky and spreads when wet. Oh dear, that sounds familiar.
    3. What fool would want to go out and work given the option.
    4 & 5. What? People actually get out of bed when they are at home all day. That’s just insanity! Tis why I have a family, to do everything that needs to be done while I laze around in bed all day. Clever me.

    • Spoons – lurk in the bottom of the washing up bowl (I don’t have a dish washer) and clog up the sink when you empty the water. I think they are inherently evil, especially when you catch your reflection glowering back up at you from their smug little spoony faces …

  15. 1. Cutlery drawer. Plastic thing with grooves in for (left to right) spoons, forks, knives, with teaspoons in groove across the bottom. In theory. In practice, an ancient ritual whereby no family member under the age of 20 may ever clean anything at all in this household means that each and every piece of cutlery I own is lurking in a washing-up bowl. Somewhere. Possibly under the sink?

    Warning: I get narky if knives or forks or spoons swap grooves without asking my permission first.

    2. I cannot answer this question as I am in a cat-and-cake free zone and you wouldn’t notice a coffee stain in the kitchen thanks to the mountains of washing-up currently holding court. I do, however, have a Daughter Who Thinks She’s A Cat – could I eat a slice of toast from her plate and have that count?

    3. I do not remember Life As You Know It due to being utterly exhausted ‘balancing’ (insert manic laugh here) financing this family with a part-time job whilst caring for mentally handicapped child and ‘average’ teen with extremely loud electric guitar.

    4. What is the worst thing about getting out of bed in the morning?
    Having to.

    5. What is the best thing about getting out of bed the morning?
    There are more questions than answers…

  16. 1. Cutlery drawer – Order?
    As long as it is a seperate slot for each, I’ve never cared which way round. I’m so air-headed when it comes to things like that I always have to look before I leap anyway!
    Annoyed? Not really. I only get cross when the knives are put in with blades upfront instead of handles.

    2. Banana cake
    Yes please, that’d be lovely. And can I have Mnemonic’s piece too?
    The cat’s dish.
    Um, why did I put the banana cake into a dish that was on the floor? Oh, I’m drunk, y’say. Well in that case I won’t care about the dish, I’ll be too concerned about trying to stand up again.
    Spilled instant coffee
    Well that’s a result! Means I don’t have to drink the stuff! I’m less than three weeks away from the second anniversary of giving up instant, and on the only two occasions I’ve had to suffer it in that time, that’s made me more likely to throw up than sharing banana cake with the cat would do.

    3. Given up [employed] work: embrace or lament?
    Oh, definitely embrace. I’ve been in that state for over a decade now, and have been successful/lucky enough that the wolf doesn’t even know what our door looks like, let alone be huff-&puffing at it. When I get old, the memories of all that quality time with my kids at these young ages will keep me a damned sight warmer and happier than an extra thirty quid a week in a pension [I’ll most likely never get to draw on] will.

    4. What is the worst thing about getting out of bed in the morning?
    The first five minutes of aching joints, feeling cold, and fuzzy-headedness after prising myself unwillingly away from DsMam’s embrace. (I’m her all-night hot water bottle!)

    5. What is the best thing about getting out of bed the morning?
    That first hit of coffee; the view of the sunrise out of the big bay window; the look of serenity on the faces of my sleeping kids …. and the sadistic joy of pulling off their duvets and yelling that it’s time to get up! {insert devilish grin emoticon here}

    Music to jolly you along?
    Just revel in your status of watching the rat race from a comfy seat in the stands!

    • Ahh, do you ache too? That’s reassuring, given that you’re younger than I am. I’ve tied swapping beds but then I just ache in different places!

      • Try checking the pillows rather than the mattress. I have slept on a 1-inch thick camping mattress and so long as I have enough pillows (I’m a fan of memory foam), I don’t ache. Bear in mind that i have nerve root damage from a sequestrated disc and subsequent surgery so I’m prone to back pain at the best of times.

      • 1 Aching all over? Get your calcium levels checked. (Seriously. I’ll be writing more about this in the New Year.)

        2 Editing? Ali, as it’s your post you should see an ‘edit’ button above each comment. Click that and shazam!

      • Don’t sweat it. Seen it, taken as intended, not feeling hit at OR hit on at all.

        My aches are specific legacies of old injuries (mainly but not exclusively from our car crash). Unless TOO MUCH calcium can be a cause, I have no worries on that score. Re pillows/mattress: aches only tend to be worse when I’ve stayed away from home in seriously crap beds. When we buy for home we simply don’t look at price until we’re at the till. Not worth skimping a few quid – what hourly rate does even a Β£300 premium work out at over a quarter of your life for the next 3000 or so days?

  17. 1. Spoons; forks; knives – I’ve had this system for several years , easy to remember because of an obscure connection I’ve made with an 80s goth band. Don’t try to make any sense of this, the connection is entirely in my head. Yes it does annoy me but I don’t say anything.
    2.Fortunately this wouldn’t happen as I don’t like banana cake
    3.Assuming financial security was guaranteed in some way what possible reason would there be for me to regret giving up work?
    4.Two things – one is that I don’t have a great deal of choice in it any more, not even at weekends, as wyngate jnr dictates. This is probably the single biggest shock to my system since becoming a dad. The other thing is having to go to work (check some of the times at which I have posted nomiations on the mothership and you will see there is a basic problem of lifestyle compatibilty here)
    5.Despite what I’ve said above the best thing is currently sitting with wyngate jnr and looking out of his bedroom window. He loves this and it doesn’t seem to matter if it’s light or dark. He does a lot of pointing at things. It’s funny because some of my earliest memories are to do with looking out of windows as well.

    • Small kids are great for star watching and the like. It wasn’t until I tried to tell my son all about the constellations that I realised I recognise very few of them and by the time I’d read up on which was which he wasn’t into window gazing any more. So enjoy! It doesn’t matter.

  18. 1) Knives on the right – like they would be on a table. I don’t have a dining table but it just looks right to me. Then forks, then spoons. Then a lot of other stuff piled all over the shop.

    2) Has this cat’s dish been washed? If so I couldn’t give a toss. If not I’d have thrown up on the first bite of banana cake. Don’t like coffee much but I can’t spill stuff without cleaning it up.

    3) This is not an entirely impossible scenario. My parents are quite elderly now and (working for local government) I keep being asked about redundancy. I suspect I would be a borderline useless carer (no practical skills) but I would embrace the change of lifestyle and not miss the working day at all.

    4) Everything. I could sleep for a thousand years. Except……….

    5) No more weird dreams about epic, endlessly delayed journeys to work, fruitless searches for a usable toilet, living in a strange hybrid of my parent’s house, my own flat and a labyrinthine Gothic pile, sleeping with people I haven’t remembered in my waking moments for years, my long deceased friend casually telling me he’s come back for another go, being at work in the middle of a field……………………………………………………

    etc etc

      • Spooky! I have those dreams too, but thought it was only me. Especially re finding a toilet, which has always seemed an odd topic for dreaming. In my early teens I dreamt that I was crying (because I couldn’t find one) and woke actually crying, so loudly that my mum popped in to say are you ok? I haven’t flown an aeroplane, but I do have a swimming through the air thing that gets me up out of the reach of danger (convenient huh!) and, like SpottedRichard (below) if things get really hairy I can become aware that I’m only dreaming, and can decide to wake up.

    • Hi Severin ! ! !

      In Shinto we have a devine creature called Baku which looks something like an elephant and it eats dreams. If you put a picture of Baku under your pillow he will take away the bad dreams.

      Maybe you could try it ? ? ?

      • I forgot to say that if you want to have a nice dream you should put a picture of Takarabune (The treasure ship of the seven lucky gods ) under your pillow.

        ( The Kanji for Baku is written on its sail )

    • I just saw this about your dreams Severin. Have you heard of lucid dreaming? This is the ability to take control of your dreams and change the events.

      It’s something I was quite naturally good at as a child. I read a book this year about it, and through some practical tips, I’ve actually been able to start influencing my dreams again.

      I had one quite recently which was very scary, where I was in a village in Vietnam with my two cats and it was under heavy gunfire. At some stage in the dream I realized it was a dream, so instead of going through the napalm attack, I was able to put my cats in a cat carrier (that miraculously showed up) and leave the village and the dream and get out safely.

      • I’ve got a book about lucid dreaming which I bought ages ago and will finish reading one day.
        I have occasionally realised that it’s a dream but I’m not much good at controlling the action.
        Incidentally I think amnesiac’s swimming through the air and my jump and float are the same thing.
        Now, has anyone else had the one about the escaped lion or tiger in the back garden?

  19. 1. The silverware/plasticware drawer.
    Couldn’t care less tbh as long as I don’t get impaled on a sharp blade too often

    2. Whiskas flavoured banana cake
    Possibly will throw up, but will definitely gag and there’s a slight chance that due to some feline transference I might make that revolting noise that cats make when they are going to be sick.

    3. Given up [employed] work: embrace or lament?
    I started off having to get out of the corporate thing. Went to work for a company which didn’t bother with things like mission statements and dress codes. Now I realize that every company harbors fascists and plans to take over the world starting with my life. Nooooooooooooooooooooooo.

    4. What is the worst thing about getting out of bed in the morning?
    Not usually a problem because I need to feed my addictions.

    5. What is the best thing about getting out of bed the morning?
    It’s a new dawn
    It’s a new day
    And I’m feeling good

    • “Now I realize that every company harbors fascists and plans to take over the world starting with my life.”
      I suspect you’re right there. It applies to the public sector just as well. Wherever there is a ladder to climb there’s a strong possibilty of finding sociopaths trying to climb it, no matter how fluffy and right-on the ladder may look to outsiders.

  20. 1. Cutlery drawer.
    Those that belong to the emperor
    Those that tremble as if they were mad
    Innumerable ones
    Et cetera
    Those that, at a distance, resemble flies
    (with apologies to Jorge Luis Borges)

    And, while it doesn’t annoy me, I do “fix it”…who put me in charge?

    2. No fan of banana cake and catless, but under the circumstances, I’m gonna opt for (b) apply the 5 second rule, stop worrying and leave the coffee for the morning?

    3. My better part always tries to embrace the opportunity and usually succeeds, but I’d be liar not to cop to the demise of life as you know it part.

    4. What is the worst thing about getting out of bed in the morning? Not much…sometimes aches and pains or the rare occasion I have a meeting or otherwise am forced to pretend I am an adult, which does not play to my (very) strengths, such as they are.

    5. What is the best thing about getting out of bed the morning?
    The women to whom I am married is inevitably up (I married a farm gal) and the place smells good (coffee) and I like breakfast, my job, and my life pretty much all the time…and of course seeing whatinthehell went on in the cutlery drawer overnight and what you all have been writing about…

  21. Oh dear ! ! ! Late again ! ! !

    1 – cutlery draw. Left hand chopstick on the left and right hand chopstick on the right πŸ˜‰ Actually I have a set of six western cutlery servings but I keep it in its box and only use them on special occasions.

    2 – I am quite obsessive about hygiene so I would definitely throw up, clean up, and apologise to the cat ( for the kawaii booties I make him wear )

    3 – It is my ambition to give up work ! ! ! I would definitely embrace the opportunities and take Auntie Flo on a trip to the UK with her savings ! ! !

    4 – I am particularly stupid for the first half an hour or so after waking up and I wander about my apartment not knowing what I am doing and annoying myself at my stupidity ! ! !

    5 – The best thing is drinking tea and watching the sky from either my balcony ( Summer ) or in the window ( Winter ). It is different everyday and reminds me that the world is big and nature is wonderful ! ! !

  22. What happened to the 3 second rule? Who decided that those 2 extra seconds were harmless? Can we aim for a gastric proto immunity target of 8 seconds by 2015?

    These and other musings to be hopefully addressed by Ali during her next drunken ‘Spill post. πŸ™‚

  23. It’s an AliQuiz!! Hello, Ali! Hope you’re feeling less bored and lost, but still pleasantly drunk!!

    Let’s see…

    1. I think it’s big forks and knives (like, serving size, man) then knives, forks and small spoons. But I don’t care if it gets mixed around and nobody else does, either.

    2. Cats have antiseptic tongues! Or so I’ve been told. Did the cake taste like catfood? Otherwise, no worries. And if I’d ‘Spilled coffee, that would mean I’d probably made it into a playlist and taken a picture of it to post, so that’s not all that bad, right?

    3. Embrace it!! I’m home with the boys now, not because I quit my job but because I didn’t try very hard to find one. (Well, I waitress 2 days a week, but that doesn’t count.) There aren’t enough hours in the day! I’m never bored! I can’t believe how fucking fast time is flying by, and I can’t do half the things I want to do, let alone half the things I have to do! David’s self-employed, so he’s around a lot, too, because he can work just the hours that he needs to. We’re not making a ton of money, we’re mostly just scraping by, but I wouldn’t change it for the world!!

    4. It’s hard to go from a bright warm world of dreams to a dark chilly world of a winter morning. Lately I’ve got some kind of sinus shizzle, and it hurts my head to stand up, and I always feel dull and groggy in the morning anyway, which is no fun…

    5. coffee, especially if David’s downstairs first making it. And some little sweet thing to go with it!

  24. 1. Cutlery drawer. Left to right; spoons, forks, knives. No one ever mucks it up. Or else.
    2. d) Wipe up coffee, wave at imaginary cat, explain why I am waving at nothing to the dogs.
    3. Give up work? Are you mad? I will be poor. But at least I will have more time to fritter away on the internet.
    4. The worst thing about getting out of bed in the morning is getting out of bed?
    5. There is no best thing, except at weekends, when I get to have a bacon sarnie and read the paper back in bed.

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