Punky’s Miscellany #16: Sociopathic Lovesick Rainbow Blues, With A Side-Order Of Thesis And A Garnish Of Debating, or, My Absence In A Nutshell


Blimey, I really have a thing for wordy titles…


So the last time I was active on the ‘Spill, I posted a Miscellany whining about being dumped, did the ‘Spill game and as a result promised to unleash the more leftfield aspects of my CD collection on Pairubu, did another Miscellany announcing my imminent departure for a weekend in London and disappeared into the ether again… Amylee asked me on Facebook for a catching-up session in this week’s Miscellany, so here goes!



So in early June punkina ditched me, I got ragingly drunk, melted down and dropped out of life for a few weeks, only to be dragged kicking and screaming out of my bedroom by a friend of a friend, who I ended up dating. In the meantime, all the shittier aspects of the debating community raised their ugly heads, in the form of one person. A member of my own union, my editor at the uni newspaper last academic year, someone who I thought was a friend of sorts.

It all began waaaaaaaay back in March, when she attempted to sabotage my nascent relationship with punkina by telling some pretty vicious lies. Fortunately they were insane enough that everyone realised she was lying. Unfortunately, I made the mistake of privately calling her out on them. Since then, she has publicly slandered me, both in real life and on her blog, attacked my friends’ reputations, sought to have me kicked off the Euros team, used the society’s official FB account to snark about my performance at Euros, tried to convince everyone that I was having an affair with my best friend Sarah, and generally been a colossal bitch, which is unfortunate as this is the beginning of Sarah’s term as head of the society and it’s causing tensions.

In more real debating news, I went to the ULU Westminster Open, the UCD Earlsfort Open and the SOAS Open as preparation for Euros. And then Euros itself came, on August 18. And guess who was at Euros? Yup, formerpunkina. So the first night of Euros I spent being fed vodka by a former Irish debater now based in England, because it was a substitute for coping πŸ˜› After a week filled with hijinks, Sarah and I going on the warpath, formerpunkina hitting on my other best friend to get at me and a massive deep conversation between me and her, we returned home, I to my girlfriend and my thesis and her to her boyfriend.

Then came a VERY messy week. My girlfriend moved away and we broke up because she couldn’t do distance, my supervisor gave me a week’s extension on my thesis, told me it was barely B1 standard and told me to take time out before my PhD, and formerpunkina… well, formerpunkina ditched her boyfriend. Kind-of-sort-of for me. So I’ve been back up to visit her, and we’re kind-of-sort-of involved. Ish. But she doesn’t want debating people to know. And there’s no commitment. And it’s going to end horrendously. Again.

Meanwhile, in music news, Fall Out Boy played Reading & Leeds, Bring Me The Horizon released a new album, and TBS released that acoustic concert thingy I was talking about on here before.

33 thoughts on “Punky’s Miscellany #16: Sociopathic Lovesick Rainbow Blues, With A Side-Order Of Thesis And A Garnish Of Debating, or, My Absence In A Nutshell

  1. Dear AIP,

    Now that you’ve finished the thesis you have time to write a film script – you have the material, now get to it! (I could do with a small percentage when the royalties roll in.)

    p.s I hope a happy ending materialises to round off the plot!

  2. Jeebus son. I think i really might not mind my boring as fuck life as an old fart. I hate drama with a passion. (hmmm, spot the richness in that statement).

    Anyway – glad you sorted it somewhat with punkina for the moment, hope the debating went well, and congrats on finishing the thesis.

    The advice on taking a break before your PhD sounds eminentely sensible and i hope you’ll seriously consider it. It’s good for a fresh brain, get a change of scene for awhile and step away from the drama. There’s no law that says that you have to plow through your schooling as fast as possible. Especially if you’re involved in any of the creative fields – give your brain some time to rest and process stuff, take a trip, work a job or get an internship, meet and spend time with new people. My 2p worth anyway.

    Nice to have you back and glad that you made it through the last round of life in one piece.

    • I don’t have a choice in taking it seriously. At the moment I’ve no money to move out of town to another institution and if I stay here I need that supervisor. So this is the year for get-rich-quick schemes πŸ˜› I guess I have just been 18 solid years in education and completed my MA thesis before my 23rd birthday…

      It’s only a temporary solution with her, but it’s only ever going to be temporary so I’ll take what I can get πŸ™‚

      It’s good to be back!

      • You’re going to be 23? You’re doing just fine, son. I think you’re in October sometime too, aren’t you? I’ll be 53 on the 8th and i’m already thinking that i’m going to be 54. But i feel like 154. And look like 254.

        With punkina, not a bad thing to see if you have anything together outside of the academic environment and the drama.

        Did you see the review of Gaiman’s book on the Graun?

        Enjoy your gap yah.

      • The new kids’ book? Yeah, and Chris Riddell is a great illustrator: it sounds fun!

        Yup, 23 on the 29th! In theory my year out will make things easier with her, because she has a tough timetable due to the nature of her course so me having more time makes things more flexible. Sadly I desperately need a job in order to afford the bus tickets.

        Fact of the matter is that outside the stress and drama (and I’m not quitting debating), there’s still a short shelf-life. I just have to accept that from the start.

  3. Hi AIP, wow, what a summer. Certainly plenty of scope for a rom/com/drama series amongst all that.

    Pleased that the thesis is completed. Echo some of the earlier posts that some time out might not be a bad thing but understand the monetary predicament 😦

    Since you were last on have read the new Gaiman book and also the Anansi Boys too. Thanks for your recommendation.

    Hope it’s a permanent come back and look forward to your posts here and on The Mothership.

    • It gets worse: both girls have the same first name and are significantly shorter than me (punkina is 4’11” and the other girl is 5’5” or so). And I always thought my type was redheads… πŸ˜›

      I have problems, I will address them in counseling. I swear. πŸ˜›

      I’m planning on sticking around again, don’t worry! πŸ˜€

      • “I always thought my type was redheads”
        Began your teenage years with very distinct fanciful type – then by your mid twenties (during the 19th Nervous Breakdown) wonder why you’ve been so bloody picky about even gender – if still single by your 30’s – question wether being human was really necessary (“Hi Mom meet my lovely new partner ‘Courgette’ – okay she’s/he’s/it’s a little spiky but it only on the surface – deep down once you get to know them they are quite soft”)….. this might not be sensible advice.

        Always ending up with people having the same first name is just perfect – pick a name you can cope with (hi Sarah, Sara, Sarah – Samantha, Sam, Sam and Jo, Joanne, Josephine – if you pick Jo or Sam you can pick either sex too – 50% more chance of a snog) – then try, oh try, to keep dating them – it saves messing up – just never be specific about times/dates/details when chatting away … in fact, in all walks of life, don’t be too keen on ‘details’…. this also might not be sensible advice.

        here’s SB6 – that I was hoping might be mentioned in a nerd thread:

        Sonic Boom SixSound of a Revolution

      • Whoops! I forgot that one, which is a shame as I love SB6!

        Well I’ve reached 23 without questioning my gender choices, but I do occasionally wonder why I’m so interested in someone who is literally a foot shorter than me πŸ˜›

      • the Ms. is ‘nearly’ (not ‘literally’ – not getting into the ‘literally’ debate) a foot shorter than me too – gives my chin somewhere to rest (on top of her head) when having a cuddle… this is perfect design by nature.

      • Have to say you fooled me Shane.

        I’m a girl and i won’t settle for any less than at least a foot taller. It just doesn’t feel right otherwise. I feel like a big awkward oaf if they’re shorter than that.

      • Is there no love in this world for those of us with a mild fetish for strapping Amazonian types who can stride properly rather than mincing along..?

      • It’s good to be back, Shane.

        Yeah a height difference is normal, and anyway most of my close friends are between 5’4” and 5’7” (I’m over 5’10”), but – while you’re correct, a foot difference is perfect for cuddling – 4’11” is fucking tiny. Personally, find that kind of cute, but we must look hilarious! πŸ˜›

  4. Actually after I came back to Tokyo after my holiday at home and visiting my relatives in Taiwan I broke up with my boyfriend . . .but it certainly was not as complicated as your situation and I could not write about it so amusingly ! ! !

    I am sure things will work out for you and it is nice to see a post from you again ! ! !

    • This is the British way, Sakura-chan (or perhaps just the English way, and AIP has been infected by the time he’s spent over here); we make light of the pain and joke away the sorrow, always maintaining that stiff upper lip, because the alternative is simply unthinkable.

      Very sorry to hear that you too have been having a difficult time; I hope things are not too bad now.

    • Hi Sakura, I’m sorry to read about your breakup. I hope you are not feeling too blue.
      On a different note. I’ve been listening to plenty of Flipper’s Guitar and Goose House this summer. I really enjoy their style and sound, very fresh and natural. Thank you so much for introducing me to them. Love lr x

    • Hi Sakura Darling ! ! !

      It’s laugh or cry, really, and I’ve always preferred laughing. Maybe, as the Prof says, being born in England has something to do with it! And the Irish are known for being able to laugh at themselves! Sorry to hear things have been hard for you. I always like to think that life’s sort of a cycle: there are bad times, but the good times will come again πŸ™‚

  5. angryirishpunk, what a tangled web, especially the public slander aspect. It can’t have been easy for you. I do think people who engage in that type of vicious behaviour ultimately only end up polluting their own lives. Onwards and upwards. One of my grandmothers is 4’11”, while my grandfather is 6’3”….they look really adorable together. I’m in a 5’9” vs 6’2” relationship and that works well for us. With heels on we see eye to eye on most things. All the best.

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