We Know What You Were Listening To Last Year


20140111/JnNSA-GCHQ/564q/20:00:01 Commencing operation.

20140111/JnNSA-GCHQ/564q/20:00:03 Monitoring identified channels, incoming and outgoing traffic, full decryption protocols. Key algorithms established to search for: Spill, RR, Awards, identified individuals.

20140111/JnNSA-GCHQ/564q/20:00:12 Surveillance feeds recorded according to agreed protocols with full deniability. Confirmed.

gchq220140111/JnNSA-GCHQ/564q/20:05:24 Nature of target: loose international collective or network, members operating under alias; generally left-wing affiliations and in specific cases known membership of extreme anti-capitalist organisations and support of militant causes. On basis of standard ‘three steps of separation’ rule using data drawn from Facebook, Twitter and other providers, clear links to figures like David Graeber of Occupy Wall Street, Tony Benn, Leon Trotsky. Generally horizontal and dispersed command structure, but some indications of greater authority accorded to long-standing members (Mnemonic, DarceysDad, TreeFrogDemon and others) and to those with technical expertise (Blimpy McFlah).

20140111/JnNSA-GCHQ/564q/20:08:53 Group originally identified several years ago and coded lilac; low-level intermittent light-touch monitoring only. Increased traffic in recent months with more explicit political content: indications of specific operational plan, likely date 2014/01/11. Increased communications traffic now measurable.

20140111/JnNSA-GCHQ/564q/20:09:04 Switching to live feed.

20140111/JnNSA-GCHQ/564q/20:11:15 Group appears to be establishing explicit list of affiliations and targets, fully within expected parameters: left-wing and techno-anarchistic. Person of the Year: Edward Snowden, with honourable mention for Pussy Riot. Event of the Year: Edward Snowden’s revelations, followed by death of Margarent Thatcher. Increasingly clear what sort of people we’re dealing with.

20140111/JnNSA-GCHQ/564q/20:13:47 Ritual denunciation of Enemies of the People in manner familiar from North Korea: ‘Villains of the Year’. Striking focus on internal UK politics: mention for Vladimir Putin [note: do we share this with the Russians?], but otherwise David Cameron, Iain Duncan Smith, David Cameron, and in top position David Cameron and His Merry Band of Posh Wankers. Query enhance protective detail for PM?

20140111/JnNSA-GCHQ/564q/20:17:09 ??? Are you copying this?

20140111/JnNSA-GCHQ/564q/20:17:56 Code?

20140111/JnNSA-GCHQ/564q/20:18:30 Discussion now ostensibly non-political: films and tv shows. Clear preference expressed for Gravity, with Hobbit and Philomena also mentioned: ???targeting space installations? Any word from the agents we placed in Second Life on possible cryptic messages in fantasy literature?

20140111/JnNSA-GCHQ/564q/20:21:44 Profiler seconded from Met suggests we might take this material as basis for broader psychological portrait rather than direct communication of plans: preferences for TV programmes reveals clear latent tendencies towards violence (both fantastic and realistic), drug-taking, crime, arrogant conviction that world needs to be saved from forces of darkness: Borgen and Breaking Bad, headed by Doctor Who. Anti-authoritarian/anarchistic message of latter, esp. in portrayal of Daleks, unmistakable.

gchq320140111/JnNSA-GCHQ/564q/20:26:15 Meeting appears to be reaching climax with ‘list’ of ‘records’. URGENT could these be targets? Suggest urgent scan of word associations. Second equal: ‘prefab’ expresses solidarity with so-called traditional working class, benefits culture, resistance to necessary marketisation; ‘sprout’ engages with radical deep green agenda. (??)

20140111/JnNSA-GCHQ/564q/20:27:59 Second equal: legendary figure returns apparently from death with message harking back to glorious all-conquering path – ‘The Next Day’ implies link to jihadic Islam?

20140111/JnNSA-GCHQ/564q/20:28:24 Second equal: How do the Canadians come into this? ‘Tomorrow’s Harvest’ = Marxist view of world revolution and/or supposed consequences of runaway capitalism?

20140111/JnNSA-GCHQ/564q/20:32:00 And the number one objective of this anarchistic collective from 2013: an ultra-slick return to the hedonistic immorality of the 1970s, precisely the period when so many of these crazy left-wing ideas developed and capitalism seemed to totter on the edge of total breakdown. Sir, I think we’ve got them! But is is so damned funky – maybe I’ve been wasting my life on endless surveillance in the service of a system that doesn’t really deserve defending…

20140111/JnNSA-GCHQ/564q/20:35:52 That’s all, folks; I’m off to occupy the Dog and Duck. Aaron Schwartz lives!

71 thoughts on “We Know What You Were Listening To Last Year

      • * panting . . . pauses to get breath back *

        Sorry folks, thought I was being watched, so set off for walk round the block. Looked back and there was this big black Chrysler with mirror-tinted windows and no headlights on kerb-crawling a hundred yards back. Managed to lose it cutting through some back alleys.

        Anyway, so as you know it’s really me, not a plastic-surgery CIA stooge DsD-lookalike, the correct answer to debby(m)’s code question is:

        “Ta, la, but I don’t drink tea. Make mine a nilpferd hot java, hold the eggshells, extra chillies, in a LFC mug, please. With a large Myers as a chaser.”

  1. Glad to see RAM top of the heap. Nile Rodgers signed mine – with this award in the bag I’m taking it straight to Sotheby’s on Monday.

  2. I can’t recall whether I sent in my preferences, so:

    a) I did and am happy too find that others concur with my choices
    b) I didn’t, but it wouldn’t have made any difference if I had.

    Does this make me an average type of person?

  3. Sorry to have missed the live cast, been hospital visiting. Nice set of winners. Brilliant idea, superbly executed – well done yet again, Herr Aba…

  4. Damn. That Chrysler’s back. I’m getting out if here back to the safe house.
    If I don’t check in after MotD, you know they’ve got me, right?!

  5. 20140111/JnNSA-GCHQ/564q/21:21:35/field.agt.vehCHR

    Sir, breaking radio silence under justification protocol OMG-WTF[pan/IK].
    Have just intercepted suspect codename FatmanFather possibly issuing a live operation order.
    Alert all agents covering male friendlies on recent Queen’s Honours List, particularly connected to music &/or digit 8.
    Our directional mic distinctly heard him say quietly into his smartphone:
    **** Finish off tune ill. Shoot eye. Eight man you knighted. ****
    No sir, I don’t understand these pinko Limeys either. Over and out.

  6. We have been in darkness. I thought young Munday had fused the lights by hacking into the Pentagon on his XBox, but perhaps it was just a warning shot from Menwith Hill. Great post, Abahachi.

  7. Brilliant fun everybody. I nearly spat wine all over Eric Cheneau and Richard Youngs at Cafe Oto reading this. Must catch up on Bron/Broen before I go to bed. Happy New Year, all.

  8. i missed it all But Get Lucky makes me want to crack out the Montana suits, Bennis-Edwards shoes, the mirror and bungs of blow. And maybe even read Bright Lights, Big City again. that is a great tune.

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