Llamalpaca’s A Waste Of Space 1D. Giving Fans What They Want.

JD Oven Gloves

One Direction – that’s 1D to you.  The first band in US Billboard history to have their first three albums debut at number one. And no, I can’t name you one of their songs either.

One Direction star Louis Tomlinson likely to appear for Doncaster Rovers reserves - video

I first became aware of Louis Tomlinson -1 of 1D – when he got clobbered in a  pre-season charity football match. Undeterred, he is about to do something rather unique: he has signed a non-contract deal with Doncaster Rovers as part of an ongoing association with the club in aid of Bluebell Wood Children’s Hospice, and will tonight make his debut for the reserves against Rotherham in front of  4,000 adoring 1D fans. This is very noble of Mr Tomlinson and we should all salute him for using his celebrity status to good effect. But it also struck me as somewhat unique in that everybody gains from his participation: the fans get up close with their idol, the club gets more people attending their matches and who knows they may even come back to watch the first team, Bluebell Wood will be better able to support and care for children less fortunate than ourselves, and Tomlinson fulfils the dream of playing for his beloved Rovers.

So that’s a good example of giving fans what they want. There are plenty of questionable ones. Anyone for a  Kiss coffin? Do you really need eight Pearl Jam live lps? Or do you lust after a pair of them oven gloves, immortalised by Half Man Half Biscuit?


Can you think of an altruistic act of giving by an artist? Maybe you can think of an act of pure exploitation that needs to be aired. Any stance should be supported with some form of evidence or justification.

Off you go then.

11 thoughts on “Llamalpaca’s A Waste Of Space 1D. Giving Fans What They Want.

  1. There was once a documentary called The Grateful And The Dead, about The Rex Foundation (http://rexfoundation.org/home/mission/). It included footage of avant-garde British composers scratching their heads about why an American beat combo should be giving them thousands of dollars to enable them to work (it was mainly due to Phil Lesh).
    An example of giving folk who don’t even know or like you what they want….. (The fans got the music, ffs)

  2. Are those Joy Division oven gloves? How ruddy marvellous.

    I was never really sure about JLS’s range of condoms. JLS suddenly became Just Love Safe (instead of Jack the Lad Swing). But I suspect the boys’ Jack the Lad image was far more relevant to their appeal. The “Easy-on shape Odour masker” makes me feel quite queasy (and confused).

  3. Just the act of giving up her time .. Way back in the year of live aid 85’ish Rowan Atkinson was in a long run of a one man show in some London theatre and had an after hours event called comic relief
    Once the main audience had left – another lot came in and just threw money in a bucket – and were treat to whichever comedians turned up – the Young Ones, Lenny Henry, Ronnie Corbett the big Yin etc
    Between sketches the curtain hid the lifting, shifting & rearranging … so they had Joan Armatrading come on with an acoustic to entertain
    Only she never got to sing … there was always some faffing with mikes .. All planned and part of the act .. So just as she started love & affection someone would say they were ready now and she shrugged and left
    I’m not sure how she felt about not getting a single song when Kate Bush sat at a piano and sang several
    One for the team
    National treasure
    Sort of thing

    • A story in a Rick Wakeman autobiog tells how he was the first rock musician to play in China and was a bit mystified why he was asked .. Did the first gig of several and then was asked if these nice chaps from the university might have a bit of a look inside his gear for a couple of days before the next gig
      Knowing the Chinese’s lax attitude to copyright law Rick was hesitant, but then in a noble act of altruism he gave all the west’s great advances in microchips & electronics to the east in a fine act of generosity .. He was only the bloke who’d played piano on Grandad, so they were hardly going to send in the gunboats & SAS if he wasn’t allowed home
      He went back a year later & saw the fruits of all their endeavours
      Instead of the plastic & fake metal trim of his synth they had fashioned the most sumptuous version of inlaid wood & ivory keys .. It looked grand .. He asked the interpreter where was the switch to turn it on
      They hadn’t actually done any of the electrics .. Just the outside
      The west could rest .. For a while

  4. Re: Tomlinson
    He’s not the first teen idol to step out onto the pitch. Andrew Shue, star of TV’s Melrose Place played in a few matches for LA Galaxy in Major League Soccer’s first season while he was on the show. Sadly, MLS really was about on the level of a League One reserves squad in those salad days, so the Tomlinson-Shue matchup for the ages ends in a scoreless draw.

    My sister’s twin daughters (age 13) love 1D. They have all the 1D dolls, but have never taken them out of the packaging because, quote, “They’re going to be worth a lot of money someday.” These kids learn quick.

    • At my second job, that I’m not allowed to mention (look up the original of my new RR avatar), I was in the dressing room corridor with little Mr.T last month. Darcey still has not forgiven me for not getting a selfie with him and his autograph!!!!!

  5. An act of exploitation – of course I can sympathise with bands who find they don’t have access to or earn money from their most popular albums but it’s a bit low to try to get round that by selling a CDR copy with a colour photocopy of the cover for £10 (without making it clear that it is a CDR) on your merch stall.
    Naming no names (they didn’t try that stunt for long). I’ll no doubt still be nominating them for the new topic , I do most weeks.

  6. One of my fave compilations from the 90’s was Foundations – Rising Up From The Streets (Radiohead, Black Dog, 808 State) for Big Issue (Homelessness)

    There are many artists that do their bit to pay back & many are graceful enough to keep it about the cause rather than themselves.

    Bob’s Band Aid deserves a mention in this context, but you wonder who got more money as a result – African underprivileged or certain artists from the resulting free worldwide exposure?

  7. I thought Dave Swarbrick and Martin Carthy manning their own CD stall was quite impressive; they gave their time to talk to people and helped clear up afterwards!

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