20,000 Days in Cave

Old Nick contemplates his life. We watch. Here’s a quick true or false quiz in celebration of the forthcoming documentary film. 

So, true or false:

1. Kylie was replaced by a robot after Nick actually bludgeoned her to death in 1995 during the making of “Where The Wild Roses Grow”?

2. Nick has a room in his Hove house that’s entirely filled with spiders?

3. Nick is scared of bats and has never released any bats – this is why he orders everyone else to do it. “It’s their beady wee eyes that pure freak me out” he said? 

4. Nick hides exotic fruits in Warren Ellis’s beard constantly on tour – this is why there is so much exotic fruit on the Bad Seeds’ rider and why Ellis is quite often enraged on stage? 

5. Nick Cave’s real name is Nicholas Edward Cave Thomas Walker – as his parents were big pot-holing/spelunking enthusiasts? 

Good luck, there are ‘Spill points on offer, and if anyone has any other Nick Cave nuggets, please do share them in the comments! 

10 thoughts on “20,000 Days in Cave

  1. I believe all of those except number 2 are false. I have no idea if he likes bats or not, it’s the girl who likes the bats in the song, isn’t it? Could be true. Intriguing thoughts and I am dying to see this film, not out for ages still!

    My Nick Cave facts (which may or not be true) are that is favourite drink is any cocktails with a little paper umbrella in it and that he wrote “And the Ass Saw the Angel” about the Deep South of the USA without having visited it.

    • Hi Beth! Thanks for the additional Cave Facts. I have had them transcribed into my grimoire (in very very very black ink) and the grimoire has been returned to the bottom of the well for safekeeping. I will reveal the results of the quiz once more folk have had a shot. 🙂

      • at the bottom of the well, deep in the woods, the book will mingle with the bones of the dead and so things on all the planes will know the word. I like these new facts we’re all learning. Nick Cave is friends with Henry Rollins, now there’s an unlikely combination.

  2. 1) Kylie has a crush on us – once crushed she ended up as ‘Road Block’ the winner of the original Robot Wars, but was then reduced even farther until she became a question in the crossword puzzle in this weeks Guardian magazine (small game bird)

    2) This is a misunderstanding – the room is filled with the spiders from Mars – David Bowie is constantly waiting by the light build so his cheek bones can be illuminated as soon as anyone enters and flicks the switch… occasionally Peter Murphy joins him around the bulb too; if he has ‘the hunger’.

    3) Sussex Cricket club are very good at bowling because anyone in front of the stumps has a disadvantage because Nick Cave ‘the local keeper of the sports equipment’ will NOT: release the ….

    4) Warren Ellis’s beard was the result of a childhood prank where Nick placed a bad seed up each nostril and the growth was immense and uncontrollable; the ‘Dirty third’ seed resulted in his less well know tail.

    5) His home schooling consisted of various transparent plastic tube, plastic rods called straws (normally numbering 26 to 30 in total and of various colours – yellow and red predominantly) and several dozen marbles – he then had to develop the plot to And the Ass Saw the Angel before any of the marbles hit the desk once said straws were pulled out from the tube; his drunken mother and a father obsessed with cruel traps and animal torture then realised it was ‘spelunking’ he was named after NOT ‘Kerplunking’.

    am I right?

    • I love the ‘spider room’ fact, so that’s where Peter keeps going, I did wonder.
      I believe Daniel Ash and Nick Fiend pop in occasionally for tea, Blixa’s not allowed anymore due to appearing in a documentary wearing slippers which make him not cool enough anymore.

  3. 1. TRUE. The replicant Kylie is actually powered by Sean Young’s ‘Rachael’ memory implant. If you listen carefully to Kylie interviews, she sometimes slips, and refers to Mr. Cave as “Rick“.

    2. FALSE. It was true, until Nick realised that every student goth basement flat is also full of spiders, so this wasn’t sufficiently mysterious enough.

    3. I DON’T KNOW.
    * looks up Nick Cave on Wiki *
    Albums … singles … books … lectures … collaborations … artwork … Nope, I can’t see any bats in his releases: I’ll guess FALSE.

    4. FALSE. Warren’s rage comes from sexual frustration. Jealous of Nick’s relationship with the replicant Kylie, Warren raided the TV archive to get his own willing partner. Sadly, the pleasure gelf he stole from the Red Dwarf has a malfunctioning communications chip; when Warren growls that he wants to squeeze her melons …. you can guess the rest!

    5. ALMOST TRUE. His name is actually Nick Cavewalker, and he is the parasitic twin of Luke Skywalker. Nick (obviously) was his father’s favourite as he embraced the dark side at an early age. The fact that Darth Vader has never attempted to kill Nick is evident proof of this fact.

    “Oh darling? Would you make me a coffee? And could I have another slice of that strange cake you bought yesterday with it, please?”

  4. I believe that each of these statements are both true and false. If you go to an old strange house in the swamps, festooned with Spanish Moss, an old, old man will explain this to you.

    • I have a painting of that house! At the height of every thirteenth full moon, the old man appears in the painting, his face hidden by the shadows of the cypress trees.

  5. Nick Cave once lost the plot during a Birthday Party gig and started kicking the faces of punters at the front of the stage, resulting in the band having to make a hasty escape from the venue pursued by angry (ex) fans.
    Factoid (ie I read this somewhere but can’t confirm it not having been at the gig getting my face kicked personally)

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