Cakes, Smiles, Hugs and Unconditional Love – My Best Friend ! ! !

A Girls Best Friend is Not Diamonds  -  It Is Her Best Friend ! ! !

A Girls Best Friend is Not Diamonds – It Is Her Best Friend ! ! !

Tokyo metropolitan area has a population of 36 million people and I am regularly voted in the top ten most complicated people in Tokyo. If sulking were an Olympic sport then I would definitely be a member of Team Japan and a strong medal contender

But there is always one circumstance when I am almost normal and one person in my life who puts up with my shit unconditionally. My Best friend Yuki.

I first met Yuki when in my second year at university. I was 19 years old and still new to Tokyo, although of course I thought I knew it all by then. We met by chance through mutual friends and clicked immediately.

A lot of time has passed since that time and we have gone through many challenging times together.

She knows more about me and my emotional make up than anyone. I have shared secrets with her that I could not even share with my mum or dad.

Recently we now both have boyfriends and so we do not see each other so often as we did in the past. But when we spend time together we really connect in away that that is unique.

We are totally different but somehow the same . . . .

I come from a wealthy family and I am something of a “princess” and very spoilt. She comes from a rather working class family is totally grounded. I tend to be rather “arty” and she is totally practical, but there is a connection between us. In Japanese folk lore we call this mystical connection the “red thread of fate”

When we meet – however long the gap is from the last meeting – it seems like we met five minutes ago.

We try to make time for us and when we do we have really girly evenings ! ! !

Usually we meet at my apartment (as Yuki lives with her parents) and we cook together, eat cakes, drink wine and talk and talk and talk . . . .

Of course we talk about music and spend a lot of time listening to different tracks and discussing the meaning of lyrics and how they relate to our lives. When we are together it is like we are sixteen again ! ! !

The most important relationship fora Japanese girl is with her mother and then her best friend.  I have a wonderful relationship with my sister, but in some ways I am closer to Yuki than I am with my sister (who is beautiful smart, sassy and totally adorably) but even tough I love my sister, the relationship Yuki and I have is different.

My dad says love is an unconditional positive regard – so what what ever you you do or say the other person will accept you and still think good things about you.  This is exactly the relationship I have with Yuki. It does not matter how complicated I am being, or how selfish, or how big a sulk I am in  – she just brings me back to earth and wraps me in her love.

In all the evenings we have spent listening to music and watching rom coms  – there is one song we have never discussed.  It is “Best friend” by Kiroro. But if there is a song that captures our friendship and love it is this one.

I will never be able to thank her enough for being my best friend.

At the very end of the song,  Kiroro sings:

Toki ni wa isogisugite miushinau koto mo aru yo shikatanai

zutto mimamotte iru karatte egao de

itsumo no you ni dakishimeta

anata no egao ni nando tasukerareta darou

arigatou arigatou Best Friend

Zutto zutto zutto of Best Friends

In English this is:

Things that we have missed hastily at time, that’s the way it is

Faces always looking at each other

Forever hugging each other

Your smile has helped me endless time, you know

Thank you thank you Best Friend

Always Always Always Best of  friends

 

Thank you Yuki – For Being My Best friend ! ! ! !  

Best Friend  – Kiroro

 

18 thoughts on “Cakes, Smiles, Hugs and Unconditional Love – My Best Friend ! ! !

  1. What a lovely piece, Sakura! I’m glad you have such a friend – I had one once but I seem to have carelessly let her slip away. Will you show this to Yuki?

    • HI TFD ! ! !

      Of course I showed it to Yuki before I posted it ! ! !

      Actually i wrote it a few weeks ago and I showed it to her then but somehow, now seemed to be the right time to post it,

      I hope maybe you are motivated to contact your friend ? ? ? I hope so ! ! !

      In this post I really just wanted to show how thankful I an ti have her in my life, I really can not imagine my life without her and I wanted to share that.

      Thank you for reading and taking te time to leave a comment. I am really happy you found the post interesting! !! !

      • Hi Sakura. My best friend I’ve known since I was 11, when we met at what would now be called High School. 45 years on we’re still best friends although there have been a few falling-outs along the way. In many ways our lives reflect each others’ although we are 200 miles apart. Honorary sisters, I think (I don’t have a sister and neither does she). So glad you appreciate your best friend, too!

      • Hi TFD ! ! !

        I just read my reply to you again and I do sincerly hope you did not think it was rude. I just meant that Yuki and I talk about everything so I would not write about her without talking ti her first – I think maybe in my reoly it sounded rude and of course I would never want you ti think that.

        If I offended you I am truly sorry.

        love

        Sakura x x x

      • No, I didn’t think you were rude, Sakura – if anything, it was rude of me to ask. But I was thinking of how we don’t always tell those we love how we feel about them. So I’m really glad you did!

  2. Hi Ali i i !

    I am so happy that you are still best friends after 45years.

    Yuki and I have never had “a faliing out” how ever un reasonable i am she she seems to just be able to calm me down and be there to pick up the pieces.

    The sister thing is complicated, i love my sister with all my heart,but what Yuki and I have us special and different

  3. Obviously I would like to see the evidence to support your grandiose claims in the first paragraph… 😉. In all other respects this is a lovely piec, Sakura. I am a great believer in friendship – the family we choose rather than get lumbered with – but perhaps expect too much of it, and in any case I haven’t been very successful in staying in touch. I do have one friend whom I’ve now been meeting once or twice a year for over twenty years, but a celebration of that relationship would, for various readons, be a rather strange piece…

    • Hi Abahachi

      I think Mr P can testify about how complicated I can be ! ! ! But I recognize how spoilt I am and I do try to improve myself, even if most of the time I fail ! ! !

      I think friendships between girls are more intense than friendships between boys and have more emotional content.

      Guys just talk about about baseball or soccer and never really share their emotions with their guy friends . . . .well at least in Japan. I think guys bond by doing things together, like playing a sport or sharing a hobby or getting drunk and chasing girls. So maybe it is harder to maintain relationships over time for guys . . . . . maybe . . .

      Thank you for reading and taking the time to comment ! ! !

  4. Another fabulous article Hoshino Sakura; you are very lucky to have such a friend and special relationship.

    During my adult life I have made lots of ‘acquaintances’ but nothing that would constitute a close friendship that said and very pertinently on Valentine’s Day my one true friend is Mrs. Leavey.

    • Hi Leavy ! ! !

      I think it is lovely that you consider Mrs L to be your best friend and I think this is the basis for a great marriage ! ! !

      I think it is harder to make friends when you grow up. My friends I made when I came to Tokyo to study and in the last few years I have not made new friends, even though I have met a lot of people.

      I regret I do not have more friends at home from my childhood. I went to boarding school for high school and so I missed making friends at home. I am still very good friends with the girl who was my room mate when I was at school, but she has a super busy and exciting job now for one of Japan’s biggest international engineering businesses so we only meet up maybe once every two or three months.

      I hope you and Mrs L have a wonderful valentines day ! ! !

  5. Hoshina: OK I posted this tale a long time ago, some time before you came to the Spill, but since it’s totally topical for your subject, I’ll retell it just for you.
    My stepmother was born in Stepney in the east end of London in 1915, As she grew older she went to elementary school where she met another girl called Grace, at about the age of 4-6 and they became best friends. Their friendship continued up until the outbreak of WW2 and by that time they were young adults; as young women they went everywhere together including dances and camping trips [I have photos]. In the late 30’s she met my father and they ultimately moved to Sheffield in the north of England, taking me with them, she and Grace parted company.
    When the war ended in 1946 she returned to London and by some amazing circumstance they wound up living in houses next door to each other; each with new babies to care for. About 10 years of close neighborly friendship went by and then my father decided to leave London and move to Suffolk, a rural agricultural area about 100 miles from London, their friendship was again interrupted. At this point she was a middle aged high school teacher. In the mid 60’s my father died and she chose to move to Norfolk, the adjacent county, where she lived for the rest of her life, she hadn’t seen her childhood friend Grace since the late ’40’s.
    When she was about 90 she had another friend visit her for lunch one day, as they chatted she somehow mentioned Grace and pulled out some photographs, “I Know her” he said, ‘Her name’s Grace and she lives in Brighton, we talk regularly’. Sure enough he did know her and he gave my stepmother her phone number and once again they they were reunited after another lapse of 30 odd years! They picked up where they’d left off, that was about 8-9 years ago.
    All my life she’d told me that she was going to live to 100! She died about a month ago, aged 99, her 100th birthday is next week, Feb 22,
    She got pretty close!

    • Hi GF ! ! !

      That is lovely story of friendship and thank you for sharing it. I am sure Grace and your stepmother will be together again in the nest life to ! ! !

  6. Hi Sakura,
    I hope you have a lovely Valentine’s Day. I recently read of a wall hanging in an okiya in Kyoto.
    “The Five Hearts
    1.A gentle and obedient heart, to have the heart to say “yes”;
    2.An apologetic heart, to say “I’m sorry” and admit and reflect on mistakes;
    3.A modest heart, to honour others for their accomplishments;
    4.A volunteering heart, to say “I will do it” without the thought of benefit;
    5.An appreciative heart, to say “Thank you.” ”
    On a different note, I notice that you are a practitioner of both Shinto and Buddhism. On the island where I live some World War Two remains were recently discovered and it is believed he is a Japanese soldier. It would be nice to know that someone in Japan had prayed for him.
    Chris Johnson.

    • Hi Chris

      I will go today after work to the buddhist temple near where I work and pray for him. I am pleased he has been found and can recieve a burial even if if his name is not know.

      Thank you for the valentines wishes ! ! ! I had a nice evening with my boyfriend, very classic – we went to a nice French restaurant – he booked six months ago ! ! !

      I like the Five Hearts ! ! ! I did not hear it before and think it is really lovely.

      Thanks for reading and taking the time to comment ! ! !

      • Hi Sakura,
        Thank you for taking the time to pray for him. I’m glad you had a pleasant evening and like the Five Hearts. I haven’t had as much time to watch TV dramas as I would like but I am working my way through “Amachan” which is wonderful.
        Chris.

  7. Oh Sakura – a lovely story. I have friends like that who I don’t see for years on end but then when we do see each other or when we chat on the phone it’s as if no time has passed. But sadly one such friend I fell out with a few years back, after having known her since we were in school and feeling that she was like a sister. Because I’d been worried about my friend I’d spoken to another friend of hers, and my friend accused me of trying to destroy her friendship with this other person. It was so totally untrue and unjustified that I could not forgive her, and ended the friendship. You can’t have a friendship without some sort of basic trust, and as far as I’m concerned it was she that destroyed OUR friendship, with her untrue accusations. I cannot now imagine being friends with her again, sadly. Sometimes friendships do fall apart, just as other relationships do.

  8. P.S. Sorry about this depressing story – sincerely hope that all your friendships continue happily, because good friends are precious.

    • Hi Suzi

      It is very sad that you had such a misunderstanding. Of course you are right, friendships are like any relationship and you do need to think about them and take care of them or they can break like any other relationship. I think friendships between girls can be quite complicated with a lot of jealousy and competition and stubbornness sometimes. Yuki and I do not have that which is why I am sure we will be best friends forever ! ! !

      I am really happy you read the post and took the time to comment ! ! !

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