There aren’t so many of us any more. We don’t know how much time we’ve got. We’re not quite the only ones left; occasional contact from people like Swawilg or Panthersan shows that there are other isolated groups across the globe, probably holed up in similar places to us – defensible position, source of fresh water, good view across the surrounding countryside, but not too obvious. But it’s a while since we’ve heard from Nilpferd or Maki, Ravi or Deano. The lights are gradually going out… And we know that, sooner or later, they’ll be coming for us too, and we won’t be able to hold them off.
For the last six weeks, or however long it’s been, we’ve been too caught up in day to day events, first dealing with the sheer shock of the world falling to pieces, then desperately scrambling for any means of survival; no time or energy to think about anything else. But things have been quiet recently – a pause in the relentless hostilities, enough for some people to start feeling just a little bit of hope that we might make it through, and even for us pessimists to conclude that we could afford to let down our guard slightly and try to relax. “It’s time,” said Darcey’sDad. AliM and Barbryn, who’d kept the Spill ticking over even in the darkest days, agreed. The Prof, who had all the data, muttered something about Zeno’s tortoise and that so long as the ceremony was always taking place tomorrow and never today, RR could never actually come to an end – but TinCanMan and SOWC sat on his head until he agreed. Ladies, gentlemen and the terrifying zombie hordes of the Guardian management, we present: the Spill Awards 2015.
Event of the Year? Ha! There’s going to be a lot of hollow laughter here tonight – not to mention the cadaverous moans from the other side of the barricades. Narrowly beating the election of Jeremy Corbyn to the Labour leadership, with the signing of a nuclear deal with Iran in third, the Readers Recommend 10th Anniversary Social brought together old lags and newcomers to celebrate past and future glories – back when we were still confident about our future…
Villain of the Year? Again, how different the vote might look if held in January rather than early December: runaway victor Our Spam-Faced Overlord David Cameron might be facing some serious competition from the management of a certain newspaper’s music section – who are probably all secretly Tory-voting lizards who own James Bay records anyway.
Discussion of this topic set Beltway Bandit off on some obscure line of argument that maybe the Grauniad‘s minions are not simply brain-dead agents of cultural destruction after all but might be open to rational discussion. He hasn’t come back. If that was a late bid for Hero of the Year, it’s disqualified for suicidal over-optimism. Instead, it’s that man Corbyn again – a lean, morose figure for hard times – ahead of Nicola Sturgeon and Pope Francis.
On to the cultural side of things, and a fair amount of support for the idea that art doesn’t only reflect the real world but actually predicts future developments: the TV series of the year offers a relentless parade of back-stabbing, intrigue, obscure political machinations and ruthless contempt for ordinary people (Wolf Hall, ahead of Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell (sinister non-human creature toys with people’s lives) and a tie between Doctor Who and This Is England ’90), while the Film of the Year, beating The Lady in the Van and – in a rare moment of joy and optimism – Shaun the Sheep, is all about death and darkness: A Girl Walks Home Alone At Night.
And that brings us to… What was that? Okay, I know it’s windy out tonight, but that… Reckon it’s all kicking off.
Who was out on the eastern perimeter?
CaroleBristol and Mnemonic, and TatankaYotanka I think.
No, I don’t mean it like that. I’m just afraid they’ve been eaten by now.
Better get on with it while there’s still a chance.
Album of the Year. Three-way tie for third place: Kendrick Lamar, To Pimp A Butterfly; Protomartyr, The Agent Intellect; Young Fathers, White Men Are Black Men Too.
Windows rattling. Thunder loud enough to wake the dead, if they weren’t already roaming around trying to shut us down.
In second place: The Unthanks, Mount The Air.
Drums in the deep…
Album of the Year 2015: Godspeed You! Black Emperor, Asunder, Sweet and Other Distress. Soundtrack to the end of days.