Reconciliation

It’s Friday.  Good Friday.  I normally publish a post in the afternoon and I will today, if I get around to it.  But I’ve felt uneasy this morning and feel compelled to write something.  I’m not a religious person, but was educated at a strict Catholic school, so this time of year brings back memories of sorrow followed by celebration.  This isn’t going to be a lesson about the meaning of Easter, but perhaps my memories and my innate dislike and discomfort with conflict has urged me to add this post.  Sorry if I’m rambling.

Yesterday as the RR topic of the week launched over at the Guardian at 8pm UK time, it was clear pretty quickly there was a problem.  Comments with YouTube links were being modded, causing annoyance and frustration.  During the discussion, some harsh words were said – I’ll admit to agreeing with the general sentiment, but the words themselves were overly strong and perhaps unnecessary, although I don’t think they were targeted at anyone in particular.

How totally ridiculous and childish we can be sometimes – I hope I’ve not caused offensive or upset by agreeing with comments last night.  That was never my intention and I’m sure it wasn’t the intention of others either.

We are drawn to this site, RR and The Song Bar for our love of music – the end.  We visit the various sites out of personal preference, what works for us in terms of timings and technology – at the end of the day, we all love music; how it makes us feel, the memories it stirs, the joy it brings and the tears it invokes.  Music is the centre of this community, and without community we may as well just give up.

So, at this time when many of us celebrate new beginnings and forgiveness, I was thinking about reconciliation.  We are trying to keep this blog going and have seen some real enthusiasm and new energy around here in the last few weeks from contributors and commenters that use all the sites I referred to above.  It would be a shame for silly hostilities about nothing in particular to cause unnecessary rifts.  I would hate to see that happen.  I wanted to share an appropriate song, but my mind has gone pretty blank…there are two songs I will share though (not really about reconciliation I’m afraid), I’m sure you can think of much better ones than me.

I love the sentiment in this Mumford & Sons track, especially the line

But I will hope as long as you like, just promise me we’ll be all right.

And this week, after having been to see Mama Mia in London last week, my 11 year old daughter discovered Abba Gold.  She already knew many of their songs, but she now knows many more!  She has belted this one out while bouncing on the trampoline several times this week.  It seemed fitting to add it.

I’m really sorry about this nonsense ramble; I just dumped my brain.  If you can think of other more fitting tracks or have any general comments, I’d love to hear from you.

27 thoughts on “Reconciliation

  1. I haven’t been on the Guardian RR site in ages. It was a bit fractious the last time I was there and it felt overly aggressive. Maybe that’s what happens when sites get too big?

    • It’s worse than that – they’re now modding every post that links to an ‘unofficial’ YouTube song – which is most of them. Hard to see how RR can continue.

  2. The Guardian can be a self-righteous arsehole sometimes but there must be a whole lotta paranoia in the legal/finance department about being sued for copyright infringement in a world of very uncertain funding for newspapers. The way they suddenly change the rules without notice or explanation (or, indeed, consistency) is unprofessional and chaotic but is probably attributable to some extent to lack of staff.
    But at least they are trying to keep proper journalism alive in a world of Murdoch, Dacre, Breitbart and co. I’ll forgive them a lot for that, as I did when RR went pear-shaped at the start of 2016.

    What really pissed me off was the vulture coming so quickly in from the PK Ego Bar. Whatever happens to RR, I ain’t never going back in that smug snug again.

    I’ve made attempts at reconciling the two blogs in the past and it is plain to me that PK is determined to nurse his resentment and polish the chip on his shoulder. I’m old enough to understand that nothing heals unless you move past it; the world seems determined not to do so and neither does PK.

    If there’s a message I’d like to shout loud and clear on this Good Friday, it’s this: simply follow the Golden Rule. Treat others as you would want them to treat you.

  3. I don’t go on RR any more, because it’s too time consuming, and I’m getting the same with SongBar. TBH I prefer the ‘Spill because it is generally the one place where there isn’t back-biting or bickering. This is why I feel it’s important to keep it going, and why it’s great to have people like Sarah, Dean, Panthersan and others breathing some new life into it.

    I am conscious that Earworms and Sounds on Sunday are old hat – even I am getting bored with the format – and not particularly challenging – it’s just music, but then, that’s not such a bad thing. Sure, I could listen to music anywhere, but it’s nice to share and I have met some lovely people through RR, it’s good to keep in touch.

    I’ve had a quick look at RR. Pairubu has a good point when he says “Having got over the initial irritation of being modded I, on reflection, realised that it’s not such a big deal really. When I “guru” I never use the links direct from the page as it takes me away , I simply have 2 tabs open, one for Graun and one for Youtube and copy and paste the links over.” But I can see this might be a problem, say, for Marconius in Canada or Ravi in India, (who doesn’t have access to Spotify).

    Chris (and Charles Kingsley!) are right – “Do as you would be done by”. Keep it sweet. There’s enough shite going on elsewhere without adding to it. I will continue to be “nice”, or Good Cop – boring and dependable … So keep smiling and have a happy Easter / holiday / weekend / whatever it is you’re having.

  4. It looks to me like there was simply been a misunderstanding over on RR last night. As far as I can see all the opprobrium is centred around Shoegazer’s oblique post in which he obviously took umbrage at TFD’s (clearly innocently intended) mention of her own guruship on SB. Coming as it did just as our nominations were being moderated en masse it might have seemed like a gloat, which it obviously wasn’t. Perhaps shoey you’d have been better off having that drink first, and then posting.

    So I don’t think there’s any sense in adding fuel to what is, essentially, a non-conflict. Regular RR contributors will just have to get used to posting without links I guess but we started off that way anyhow.

    A long time ago there was a running gag on the way of the hippo on here, I’m not pretending to be some kind of universal healer but can I just remind people of one part of that, namely that a key factor in on-line harmony is a willingness to let old grievances lie. It is also, I think, essential not to jump to conclusions regarding people’s behaviour.

      • It’s not me guruing, it’s Maki, but yes – I meant it nicely and it’s been misunderstood. Will take froggy foot out of mouth now.

        • I can’t speak for others, but I’m certainly aware of that. It just felt like it was getting a tad aggressive and I needed​ to say something in the safety of this place….

    • Thanks nilpferd. I agree with everything you’ve said here. Although tbh it wasn’t Shoey’s comment i was referring to, that wasn’t too awful really. There were others more heated. Anyway, I think it is essential for the future of all these things not to allow rivalry and opinions about how things came to be the way they are, to get in the way of what we visit these places for. I hope I’m making sense…

  5. Virtual hugs to everyone. Hope we can all get along and enjoy life and music together. It is amazing how easy the internet leads to misunderstandings and people feeling hurt, I hope we can be more hippo, as nilpferd suggests.

  6. My reason for leaving RR in the great schism were more to do with astonishingly arrogant and offensive private emails from Michael Hann at the time than with the blog itself. That they later adopted my suggestions with no acknowledgement or apology just added to the offence.

    • That must have been annoying – I only stumbled upon RR when that rift was all kicking off tbh. Hann has left The Guardian now. Matt is a good bloke, he keeps himself to himself and doesn’t really interfere with the game tbh. He’s always super polite and encouraging in all my email exchanges with him.

  7. I don’t comment here very often but being in the chair on the hyena / vulture site I do feel the need to extend the hand of friendship to all who would like to take part. None of what any of us says on these places actually means anything in real life and I think we should all take a step or two back and realise that there is far more that unites us (wherever we choose or are able to post) than separates us. I’m on Song Bar because it’s the only place that’ll have me. I intend to enjoy my time there. As should we all – wherever we post.

    • Hi Maki. I think you and I are saying very similar things. I can’t imagine you are not welcome at The Guardian but even if you never go there it is great to see you here and it would be lovely to see you again sometime.

  8. “None of what any of us says on these places actually means anything in real life ”

    Always a good point and my first rule when delving into the murky waters of the internet.
    I post on both sites, which I post more on depends on the topic.
    The new rule on RR felt like another nail in the coffin, but on reflection it’s probably not.

    • I don’t think it is either – the modding seems to have calmed down since Thursday night’s wave of censoring. All it’s done is annoyed lots of people and caused a bit of unnecessary tension. Very irritating. Cheers for stopping by…

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