Expert Knob Twiddlers


I’ve told you I DJ.

Last time out I did a pretty good electronica set.

The time before that I was with my good friend David. And we were a total shambles. In fact, I didn’t even know we’d made a recording of the night until two weeks ago. Finally, it’s time to destroy any street cred I ever had.

Listen to the sounds of intermittent silence broken by the terrifying sounds of Tiger Feet.

Shelter from a sudden blast of The Ballroom Blitz.

That silence is the sound of us searching to intialise the sound card, frantically plugging and unplugging cables like mad boppingboffin scientists wondering which connection is correct.

Say, “Eh up! What the fuck!” As I decide I don’t wanna hear T-Rex, reblast a second of Queen and then settle into a Rolling Stones grooving on a Rollator sixties’ set.

Follow the bell curve of the evening as we become progressively more disinterested and the curve falls off the chart and starts digging us a hole we happily wallow in as we play with shite.

Be amazed as disco starts to play cos the night was advertised as a rock disco and some punters think that means we should be playing D.I.S.C.O.

Cup your ears or cover your ears and think, “Why the fuck did they bother?” as the evening descends into Smokie darkness as Bad Boys Blue play.

Marvel as Teenage Fanclub suddenly start to play cos the bloke getting ready for his paper round requests it. Be stunned to find that I actually do have Kula Shaker in the library.

Ponder whether or not we are trolling the crowd by playing Gerry Rafferty album tracks. (Rafferty is big in the Waterloo – we kid ye not.)

Feel for the men who are prepared to put aside their pride for a couple of pints of Guinness and cos the owner’s a mate.

This post won’t be here long. Get it while it’s still beating; before it rots into digital decay.

The eardrum torture starts at 3 mins in. You have been warned.


DIY Disasters (and occasional successes) Part 8 “There Ain’t No Punks In This Town”


Drongos For Europe – headliners at my final gig

Summer 2000: The Spread Eagle was clearly a decent venue, there were more bands around in Leicester. I was planning to go on. Of course it was a pain sometimes. Every so often someone who knew nothing about punk gigs would come up with some helpful advice. An older guy who lived in my house had apparently been manager for Flintlock(the in-house boyband on The Tomorrow People children’s sci-fi series)in the 70s. His suggestion was that what I needed to do was book a marquee, print up some flyers…

An associate came to me with the suggestion that we actually put on an all dayer. I’d thought about this, but I wasn’t sure I was ready yet (some people dive straight in. Some people also fall flat on their faces and end up either paying a load of money out of their pockets, or do a runner at the end of the night). We booked a Saturday and agreed that we’d both come up with about 6 bands that we’d get. It did actually sound quite simple.

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“D.I.Y Disasters (and occasional successes) Part 7 “Leicester was shit”


The Chineapple Punx – “Too silly” according to one of the Leicester punks

Early 2000 – I’d had two relatively successful gigs at the Spread Eagle and they seemed happy for me to book more. One day I got an unexpected call from the pub telling me that Dave Bartram from Showaddywaddy had dropped off a demo of a band he was managing for me. This was odd. Had Bartram finally decided to try and jump the punk bandwagon. If not why did he want me? Where had he got my name from? They’d been my favourite band – for about 5 minutes when I was 7; and my mum had known someone who’d known someone who lived next door to another band member. That was it as far as me and Showaddywaddy went. I went straight down to find it was a new member of the bar staff who’d been given the demo and looking through a book had found my name and phone number with the word “gigs” scrawled next to it.

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for Ravi,

samples: a few classics, some faves, some obscurities

D.I.Y Disasters ( and occasional successes) Part 6: “You must know X-Ray Dave”


The Restarts in the dim and distant past

Following my not entirely successful last few gigs at the Physio & Firkin I didn’t put on anything else for several months. I hadn’t given up though, I was waiting for things to get going at a new venue. The Spread Eagle, a city centre pub, was under new management and a focal point for various characters and misfits. They also wanted to put gigs on.

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indiepoppinneverstoppin (2)Was listening to The Pastels today. Thought I’d make a C90 UK/USA/NZ/OZ indie-type playlist.



Rock & Roll Swindles!

907c7d4622e1b133ddf5915326a18250_lg[1]As it’s April Fools Day I thought I’d do a post on bands that aren’t what they first appear – hoax bands. I’m obviously sticking to what I know with fake punk bands of various kinds as there seem to have been few (some more convincing than others, and some more fun). I don’t know if this is more widespread in punk than other genres – maybe you know of other examples.

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